Crap, he created a new blog.

I'm going to keep this first post short, sweet and to the point.

I'm starting over with personal blogging. Again. For roughly the seven zillionth time. Zillionth is a word, because I said so. And 'round these parts, I'm Sheriff, Citizen and Resident Moron Extraordinaire.

In the past, I've blogged because I was feeling introspective, or because of narcissistic tendencies, or even because people wanted to read what I had to write. If that's you, just keep in mind that I think you are nuts. And if the crazy guy thinks you are crazy, what does that make you?

That might be a double-negative. In which case, that would make you sane. So ignore that. Pay no attention to the stupid thought behind the curtain that I could easily destroy with the BACKSPACE key, but won't because it would kill the effect.

See? Mindless ramblings.

I'm a professional writer, among other things. I write coherent, meaningful stuff elsewhere. If that's what you hope to find here, then one of us is in the wrong place. I'm pretty sure it's me, actually, but I'm the one who picked the blog title.

<Childishly sticks out tongue>

I feel this blog needs to come with a few disclaimers, so here goes:

1. This is as raw and no-holds-barred as I get. No, there won't be foul language or explicit content. I don't do that. I'm a Christian, I hold to my faith as best as my faulty human nature will allow, and I don't believe it has to be shocking or disgusting to be entertaining. Which, of course, leads me to number two...
2. Entertainment guaranteed or your money back! Which, ironically, leads to number three...
3. This site is free of charge. If yo add 2 and 3, the result is...
4. All Complaints Will Be Ignored. It's a policy here, for one simple reason: because I'm not getting paid for this! This is me. Take me or leave me, your choice. If two or three people read each post, then...well, then that's about four or five more people than I expected. Don't do the math, it's the result of a cosmic rift that occurred after reading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in reverse on a Monday in February. It's very sciency.
5. Five is a nice, happy number, so I added it just to make the list dynamic a little less dissonant.

So much for "short, sweet and to the point." Then again, I make the rules here. I hereby declare that "short, sweet and to the point" is to be synonymous with "everything I just wrote" until you get to the end of this post.

And, there you are.

Fin.